Please Don’t Read My Devotional

God always has a way of talking to each one of us. To me, I hear Him through His Word. I perceive His whisper in the majestic beauty of a sunrise or sunset, the intricacies of flowers, or the grandeur of geological formations He crafted into existence. And sometimes, He talks to me with the booming noise of thunder through my circumstances. This happens especially when I am not focused and He wants my attention. He also uses people and their stories to communicate to me. So, for years I have been using devotionals. I love them.

I have been following an early morning routine. Wake up at 5:00 a.m. Read an online devotion. Copy the verses on my iPad. Share the verses on social media. Pray. Then get ready for work. On the surface, everything looked right. I gave God my first hour. But why had I been feeling a disconnect with my Heavenly Father for months?

In poetic language, I expressed this feeling on Christmas morning, and included it on my blog post, “Strengthening My Core.” I couldn’t quite put my finger on this disconnect, but I wanted to remain faithful. Every day, I kept on doing what I was doing. And every day, the disconnect continued until one day He unexpectedly showed me and gave me the answers.

I love to write. Looking to challenge myself, I joined an online writing group. Each month, it gave us a prompt, specified the word count, and gave us a deadline to submit our writing. For our second prompt, I wanted to include a poem I wrote in the past. I searched my iPad, it wasn’t there. Scanned through my computer files, it wasn’t there, either. Then I remembered all the journals I had for years. I read entries from journal to journal, but this poem was elusive. As I perused through dozens of journals from 2013 to 2016, a lightbulb turned on. I didn’t find the poem I was looking for but found what I needed most and the answer to my disconnect. I noticed in my journal entries that I still followed a routine. I read God’s Word. Wrote my insights on how He spoke to me. Jotted down my praises for Him. Thanked Him for answers to past prayers. Recorded my prayer requests. Prayed. Shared the verses on social media. These were the times I felt closest to the Lord.

What was the difference? I found two.

In the story of Mary and Martha, the Lord admonished Martha when she complained about her sister Mary not helping with the preparations but instead sat down at Jesus’ feet to listen to Him. I reread the story and this verse struck a chord, “She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” (Luke 10:39). Mary sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what Jesus said.

I had been listening to everybody else’s stories and reading their devotionals, I needed to just sit at the Lord’s feet and listen to what He says to me. There is nothing wrong with reading devotionals and being inspired by God’s work in other people, but it cannot replace my tuning in to Him with my own senses. God wants me to have a personal relationship with Him. He wants me to discover Him and His faithfulness myself, through His Word, what He does in my life, and with the discernment of the Holy Spirit.

What else did I find?

When I looked back at my morning routines, I noticed that in my excitement to share the verses I read, I posted on social media even before my sacred time of communication with my Lord. Yes, we are to share God’s Word, and that is good. But He is first! Our relationship and focus is Him first.

No wonder at one of the breakout sessions at a Faith and Arts conference I attended, the speaker said to me, “The devotionals you write could be for you, for the Lord, or for others.” I didn’t understand what he meant and left the conference wondering.

I connected the dots when the routine announcement of a flight stewardess came to mind,

“Oxygen and the air pressure are always being monitored. In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. Although the bag does not inflate, oxygen is flowing to the mask. If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person. Keep your mask on until a uniformed crew member advises you to remove it.”

I am glad the Lord loves me so much and always monitors my relationship with Him. There was a decompression happening in my life and I needed His life-giving breath through my personal relationship with Him and His Word. I had to secure my own mask before I could assist the other person. I have to have my time with my Lord first.

So please don’t just read my devotional or any other person’s devotional. Let’s all have our own personal time with Him and His Word. Let’s discover His faithfulness in the story He weaves in the tapestry of our own lives. It is amazing what He could reveal. It is vital!