First impressions. What do you think of them?
I remember early in my career, the most common advice I heard while applying for a job was, “Make a good first impression.” That meant being well-dressed and adequately-prepared for your interview. In fact, if you google “interview tips,” you will find phrases like “dress for success, wear neutral colors, research the company, ask questions, sell yourself well.” All these to make a good impression. First impressions could make or break you.
The problem with this is that it involves skin-deep judgments. Their outcome can be good or bad either for the person I am judging or for me. Don’t get me wrong, first impressions have value. Sometimes, they can keep me safe and away from shady characters or danger but other times when I get them wrong, I completely miss out on something good. First impressions, together with what I have learned from past experiences and my intuitions, often give me an early warning device to be cautious and stay away, or to do the opposite and engage.
About three months ago, Sal told me that his niece and her best friend asked if they could visit and stay with us. We have never met them nor their parents, but Sal had often communicated with her mom on Facebook, and so we agreed to host them.
A day before they were set to come, Sal showed me a picture of the two. In the picture both twenty-year-olds were posing in front of a Santa Monica Beach sign in their midriffs and short shorts. Hmmm. That didn’t quite sit well with me. Memories of a not-so-good past experience with someone else who visited us, came flooding back. I started questioning the sanity of our decision and my guard went up.
Though it seemed like my wariness had merit, I felt ashamed and asked the Lord for forgiveness for my thoughts and reaction. I did this especially when He brought back to mind the words that represented every letter in “TEN-LAPPR,” a mnemonic I put together when I studied Philippians 4:8. This Scripture passage had always been my go-to when my thoughts wandered in the wrong direction, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” I decided to take heed and asked the Lord to change my heart and prayed for both young ladies and their time with us.
For five wonderful days we had an absolute blast taking our niece and her friend around tourists’ spots in Lake Tahoe, Napa, Monterey, San Francisco and Sacramento.
I guess God really wanted to solidify the lesson He taught me earlier. While strolling through Old Sacramento, I noticed what I thought was a statue of a man sitting on one of the benches. Clad in a Hawaiian shirt, his eyes were closed, his face taut, smooth and shiny. I was about to call our niece and her friend to sit down next to him so I could take their picture, when all of a sudden, he moved. That startled and scared me. I scurried past him afraid he would ask me for something. He seemed to be asking others who were walking close to us.
I was about three stores past him, when the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. I went back to the ice cream shop right in front of where he sat and asked the owner if they had drinks. He pointed to the soda fountain. I went back to where the man was and asked if he wanted a drink. He smiled at me and said he would love a strawberry ice cream. I signaled for him to enter the shop and paid for his ice cream. With a sparkle in his eye and a wide smile, he reached one hand to touch my shoulder and said, “Thank you and bless you.”
Like an eagle, my heart soared.
Yes, first impressions can be helpful, but I also need to be sensitive to God’s Word and the Holy Spirit’s leading. I am thankful God corrected me and that I responded or I would have missed out on knowing and spending fun times with such great young ladies and on being a blessing to another person.
After all, who couldn’t use some hospitality, a guided tour or two to unfamiliar places and an ice cream cone on a hot summer day?
I could.
How about you?
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV)